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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Freshly posted on Threads:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Going bananas on Slack:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Just shared via Threads:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Shared recently on Threads:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Trending via Facebook:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Funny cosmetics quotes

Funny cosmetics quotes 💄✨ bring a splash of humor to your beauty routine, turning everyday glam into a laughter-filled adventure! Whether you’re a makeup newbie or a beauty guru, these witty lines 🎨🤣 celebrate the magic and mishaps of cosmetics with a cheeky twist. Ready to smile while you sparkle? Let’s dive into the playful side of makeup that proves beauty is best when it’s fun and fabulous! 💋🌟

New funny cosmetics quotes 👇

All funny cosmetics quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

About to form my very first opinion.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Just landed via Telegram:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Live now on YouTube:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Going viral on Threads:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Shared recently on Slack:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Just shared via Telegram:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Going viral on Twitch:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

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