Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Trending via Telegram:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Trending via Messenger:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Going bananas on Discord:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Just shared via Threads:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Spotted on Threads:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Spotted on Reddit:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Funny dating profile quotes

Funny dating profile quotes are the ultimate icebreaker 🧊❤️, turning swipes into smiles 😄 and awkward silences into laughs 🤣. Whether you’re witty, quirky, or just downright goofy, a clever line can boost your charm 📈 and make your profile unforgettable 🌟. Ready to stand out in the dating game? Let’s dive into some playful vibes that’ll have matches sliding into your DMs in no time! 🚀💌

New funny dating profile quotes 👇

All funny dating profile quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

May the algorithms be with you.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Trending via Telegram:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Just landed via YouTube:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Shared recently on WeChat:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Just landed via X:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via Reddit:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Spotted on Facebook:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

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