Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Just shared via Twitch:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Spotted on Instagram:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Live now on Instagram:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Trending via Facebook:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Making waves on Instagram:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Funny declaration quotes

Funny declaration quotes bring a burst of laughter 🎉 and boldness 💥 to any occasion! Whether you’re making a cheeky announcement or just want to lighten the mood 😂, these witty words turn serious statements into unforgettable moments. Ready to declare your truth with a smile? Let’s dive into some hilariously clever lines that speak louder than words 😎✨!

New funny declaration quotes 👇

All funny declaration quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

81 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

46 shares on X this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Making waves on Reddit:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Going viral on Discord:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Making waves on X:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Just shared via Slack:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Just landed via X:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

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