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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Breaking via Twitch:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Funny dental floss quotes

Funny dental floss quotes 🦷✨ are the perfect way to add a little sparkle to your smile routine! Whether you’re a floss fanatic or just floss-curious, these witty lines will make you laugh while reminding you to keep those pearly whites shining bright 😄🎉. Get ready to floss with fun and never dread the daily dental dance again! 🪥💬

New funny dental floss quotes 👇

All funny dental floss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

23 shares on X this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

35 shares on Threads this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

15 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

12 shares on X this month:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Spotted on YouTube:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Just shared via YouTube:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Shared recently on Discord:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

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