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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Trending via Discord:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Shared recently on Slack:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Seen just now on TikTok:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Just shared via Twitch:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Funny diet joke quotes

Funny diet joke quotes are here to lighten up your healthy hustle! 😂🥗 Whether you’re dodging donuts or pretending kale is candy, these chuckle-worthy gems make dieting feel less like a chore and more like a comedy show. Ready to giggle through the greens and laugh off those cravings? Let’s turn that salad frown upside down with some seriously silly sayings! 🍎🤣 #DietHumor #FoodieFun

New funny diet joke quotes 👇

All funny diet joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Slack this month:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

78 shares on Threads this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Trending via Reddit:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Freshly posted on X:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Just landed via Slack:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Just landed via Telegram:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Going bananas on Discord:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

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