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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Spotted on Messenger:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Just shared via TikTok:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Spotted on WeChat:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Making waves on Facebook:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Going viral on WeChat:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just landed via YouTube:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Just shared via Telegram:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Funny Eager quotes

Funny Eager quotes are the perfect dose of laughter and excitement to brighten your day! 😂✨ Whether you’re buzzing with anticipation or just love a good chuckle, these witty lines capture that eager energy in the most hilarious way. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you dive into a world where enthusiasm meets comedy! 🚀😆 #GoodVibesOnly

New funny Eager quotes 👇

All funny Eager quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

64 shares on Discord this month:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Trending via Instagram:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Trending via Reddit:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

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