Commentary:
"Who knew that the ultimate diet plan was just a comfy pillow away? Forget counting calories, just count sheep and let those extra pounds snooze away!"
193 Funny eat quotes
Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.
Commentary:
Well, that's a relief! Looks like I won't have to worry about the zombies mistaking me for a buffet anytime soon. I guess all those years of studying and working on my brainpower are finally paying off – literally a life-saving investment!
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.
Commentary:
"Who needs a reason to eat cake when you can just make someone's imaginary birthday a daily celebration? It's like a delicious excuse to indulge in frosting and sprinkles, all in the name of spreading joy through sugar highs!"
I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'eat now, pray later' diet strategy. It's like a culinary Hail Mary pass – you never know when the miracle will happen, but you're definitely hoping for a touchdown in the form of a metabolism boost!"
“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.
Commentary:
"Well, it seems like someone accidentally ordered the disappointment special without realizing it! Maybe next time they should stick to the menu items labeled 'Happiness' and 'Success' instead."
What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?
Commentary:
It seems Washington is really focused on the important issues here – tackling the age-old problem of messy everything bagels! Perhaps his plan involves implementing tiny bagel bibs or creating a special bagel-eating etiquette course for all citizens. Either way, it's clear that Washington has his priorities straight when it comes to the most pressing matters of our time!
I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.
Commentary:
"Oh, you 'forget to eat', you say? 🍔🙄 Must be nice skipping meals while the rest of us are over here planning our next snack attack! 😂 #FoodiesUnite"
About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.
Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying eating a donut counts as a workout now? 🍩💪 Talk about muscle activation in the tastiest way possible! 😂 Who needs a gym membership when you've got a box of donuts, am I right? 🤷♂️ #FitnessGoals #DonutLover
I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.
Commentary:
"Sorry, I operate on a 'brunch-anytime' schedule. I can't help with early bird problems 🍳🕒 #AfternoonFeaster"
Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.
Commentary:
"Adulthood is a tricky balancing act – knowing you *could* have cookies for breakfast, but also realizing you wolfed them down last night in a moment of weakness 🍪😂 #adultingtroubles"