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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Live now on Reddit:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Making waves on TikTok:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Funny expectancy quotes

Funny expectancy quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life’s surprises don’t quite match our hopes 😅🎢 Whether you’re waiting for something big or just navigating everyday surprises, these witty lines will have you laughing through the ups and downs 😂✨ Get ready to embrace the unexpected with a smile and a chuckle! 🎉😄

New funny expectancy quotes 👇

All funny expectancy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Instagram this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

90 shares on Telegram this month:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,239

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Trending via Slack:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Just shared via Slack:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Live now on YouTube:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Going viral on Instagram:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

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