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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Making waves on Slack:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Making waves on TikTok:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Making waves on Telegram:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Seen just now on Slack:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Funny father figure quotes

New funny father figure quotes 👇

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

4 weeks ago

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All funny father figure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

67 shares on Discord this month:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Seen just now on Discord:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Making waves on Instagram:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Going viral on Messenger:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Live now on Snapchat:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Breaking via Twitch:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny father figure quotes

New funny father figure quotes 👇

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

All funny father figure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨