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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Just shared via Threads:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Spotted on Slack:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Live now on Instagram:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Funny fifth quotes

Funny fifth quotes bring a burst of laughter to anyone hitting that fabulous milestone! 🎉 Whether it’s about turning five years old or marking the fifth time something hilarious happens, these witty lines are perfect for sharing smiles 😄 and giggles 😂. Ready to add some humor to your day? Let’s dive into the funniest fifth moments that are sure to brighten your timeline! ✨🎈

New funny fifth quotes 👇

All funny fifth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

35 shares on X this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

22 shares on X this month:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Trending via WeChat:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Going viral on WeChat:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Spotted on TikTok:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

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