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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Live now on Snapchat:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Spotted on Instagram:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Trending via Telegram:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Trending via WeChat:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Telegram this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

81 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

21 shares on X this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

55 shares on X this month:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Going bananas on X:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Just shared via Reddit:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Going viral on Messenger:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just shared via Threads:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Just shared via Reddit:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

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