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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Making waves on Discord:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Spotted on Facebook:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Funny Gordon Ramsay quotes

Funny Gordon Ramsay quotes serve up a sizzling blend of wit, spice, and kitchen chaos 🍳🔥 Whether you’re a foodie or just love a good roast, his sharp tongue and quick comebacks never fail to entertain 😂👨‍🍳 Get ready to laugh out loud as we dive into some of the most hilarious moments from the fiery chef himself! 🍔🎉

New funny Gordon Ramsay quotes 👇

All funny Gordon Ramsay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Making waves on Discord:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

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