Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Making waves on X:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Breaking via WeChat:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Trending via Twitch:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Funny greetings quotes

Funny greetings quotes are the perfect way to kickstart your day with a smile 😄 and sprinkle some laughter into your messages 📱✨. Whether you’re saying hello to friends or brightening someone’s mood, these witty and playful lines add that extra zing ⚡️. Ready to turn ordinary hellos into unforgettable giggles? Let’s dive into the world of humor and good vibes! 🎉😂

New funny greetings quotes 👇

All funny greetings quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Shared recently on Threads:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

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