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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,984

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,984

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Just landed via Instagram:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Just landed via YouTube:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Breaking via Threads:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Making waves on Reddit:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Spotted on Discord:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,984

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,984

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Spotted on WeChat:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Making waves on Telegram:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Reported on Threads:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Trending via X:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Making waves on Telegram:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Seen just now on Telegram:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

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