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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Breaking via Telegram:

You wish you had this many chins.

Making waves on Twitch:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Trending via Instagram:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Making waves on Telegram:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Trending via WhatsApp:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Funny hoard quotes

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All funny hoard quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Spotted on Reddit:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Live now on Snapchat:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Trending via Snapchat:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Trending via WeChat:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Just shared via TikTok:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

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