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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Just shared via Slack:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Trending via YouTube:

I think God was high when he made me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Going viral on Telegram:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Funny horsemen quotes

New funny horsemen quotes 👇

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, dating, four, Four Horsemen, hope, horsemen, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, single

Someone from 🇪🇬 has recently shared this quote.

119 shares on Reddit this month.
Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

0

4 months ago

apocalypse, Facebook, four, horseman, horsemen, humor, Instagram, joke, maybe, media, social, social media, TikTok, Twitter

Someone from 🇩🇯 has recently bookmarked this quote.

48 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny horsemen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

15 shares on Threads this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

16 shares on X this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

47 shares on Slack this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Live now on Telegram:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Just landed via X:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Going bananas on Threads:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Making waves on Messenger:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Just shared via Facebook:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Trending via Discord:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Live now on Snapchat:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny horsemen quotes

New funny horsemen quotes 👇

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

All funny horsemen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨