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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Breaking via WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Making waves on Discord:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Just landed via WeChat:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Funny hot single quotes

Funny hot single quotes 🔥💃 are perfect for spicing up your social feed and embracing the single life with a wink 😜. Whether you’re owning your independence or just having fun, these clever lines add humor and sass to your vibe 😎✨. Ready to laugh and celebrate being single in style? Let’s dive into some witty gems that’ll keep you smiling all day long! 😂💥

New funny hot single quotes 👇

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

0

2 months ago

40, area, curiosity, dating, hot, hot single, humor, inflammation, joint, joint pain, over, over 40, pain, single, singles

Someone from 🇱🇧 has recently bookmarked this quote.

55 shares on Discord this month.
Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

0

2 months ago

area, date, dating, hot, hot single, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, online, online dating, single, singles, social, social interaction, talk, want

Someone from 🇵🇾 has recently bookmarked this quote.

22 shares on TikTok this month.
The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

0

2 months ago

area, dating, hot, hot single, humor, irony, joke, money, single, singles, wallet

Someone from 🇸🇿 has recently bookmarked this quote.

32 shares on Discord this month.

All funny hot single quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Slack this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

97 shares on Slack this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

94 shares on X this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Just landed via X:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Just landed via WeChat:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Seen just now on Discord:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Making waves on X:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Just landed via YouTube:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

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