Commentary:
Elevator button: more effective than a personal trainer for finger workouts! 🚪🏋️♂️🔘
5658 Funny i quotes
Everything used to be 20 dollars, and now that I finally have 20 dollars, everything is now 200 dollars.
Commentary:
When inflation did a 10x level-up and left my wallet stuck in the 90s 😂💸
Having an intrusive thought and shaking my head to show the mind readers I don’t approve.
Commentary:
When my brain starts broadcasting bad ideas, gotta shake my head to let the telepaths know I'm changing the channel! 🧠📡😂
Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that.
Commentary:
So if Jonathan can become Nathan, does that mean my diet can become a donut? 🍩🤔
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Commentary:
Into the witness protection program for words ✏️🔍😅
There is someone sleeping under me on the other side of the earth. They are tossing and turning, and I find it very disruptive, like a pea under many mattresses.
Commentary:
Imagine trying to get some beauty sleep and feeling like you're a live-action version of The Princess and the Pea. Someone flip your mattress switch? 😴🏓🌏
Can I get a pleaseburger, cheese?
Commentary:
Sure, coming right up with a side of extra politeness fries! 🍔🧀😄
I am the Michael Jordan of laying down.
Commentary:
I'll bet your bed asks for your autograph every morning 🛌🏆😴
The only time I beg is to differ.
Commentary:
When my brain begs to differ, even my thoughts hold a protest sign 🧠🔄✨
I turn off the lights so there’s more power for the data centres.
Commentary:
That's my way of contributing to the virtual world—saving watts to power up the cat memes! 😂💡🐱