Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Spotted on WeChat:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Live now on X:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Breaking via Messenger:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Making waves on WeChat:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Trending via Telegram:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Funny identity theft quotes

New funny identity theft quotes 👇

All funny identity theft quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

86 shares on Slack this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

51 shares on X this month:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

50 shares on Threads this month:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Breaking via X:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Going viral on WeChat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Spotted on Slack:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Live now on Threads:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Making waves on X:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

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