Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Making waves on Twitch:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Going viral on X:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Going viral on YouTube:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just landed via Twitch:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Funny it’s quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

67 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

70 shares on Threads this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

88 shares on X this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Just landed via Reddit:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Seen just now on X:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Shared recently on Slack:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Spotted on Reddit:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Trending via Slack:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

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