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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Just landed via Threads:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Seen just now on Threads:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Going bananas on X:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Funny John quotes

Funny John quotes bring a burst of laughter and lighthearted vibes to any day 😂✨ Whether you’re looking for clever one-liners or quirky wisdom, these gems never fail to brighten the mood 😎💬 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort because John’s humor hits just the right spot! Ready for some feel-good fun? Let’s dive in and enjoy the wit and charm that only Funny John quotes can deliver! 🎉🤣

New funny John quotes 👇

All funny John quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

69 shares on Threads this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Seen just now on Discord:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Going bananas on Slack:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

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