Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Live now on Facebook:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Just shared via TikTok:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Just shared via Threads:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Trending via WeChat:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Spotted on X:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Funny kinder quotes

Funny kinder quotes bring a burst of laughter and pure joy to anyone who’s spent time with little ones 🌟😂 From their innocent wisdom to hilarious misunderstandings, these tiny comedians never fail to brighten your day 🤪🎨 Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or just a kid-at-heart, get ready to smile and share some adorable moments that prove kids say the darndest things! 🧸💬✨

New funny kinder quotes 👇

All funny kinder quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

61 shares on Slack this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

85 shares on X this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

85 shares on Slack this month:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Making waves on WeChat:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Trending via Twitch:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Live now on LinkedIn:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

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