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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I am thick and tired.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Spotted on Slack:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Live now on Telegram:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Home » Funny Kitchen Tool Quotes

Funny kitchen tool quotes

New funny kitchen tool quotes 👇

2 days ago

Commentary:
When life gives you mashed potatoes, it locks the drawer for extra flavor! 🥔🔒😂

able, drawer, everyday, everyday life, frustration, fun, humor, keep, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, masher, obstacle, open, playful, playful obstacle, potato, potato masher, sometimes, tool
4 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but let's talk about the satisfaction of smoothly opening a can with a can opener that actually works 💪🥫 Who needs romance when you have the perfect tool for your beans and tuna? 😂 #Priorities"

actually, can opener, cool, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, opener, practicality, relationship, sex, tool, works

All funny kitchen tool quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,929

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Shared recently on Discord:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Breaking via Twitch:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Just shared via Reddit:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Trending via Instagram:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Trending via Reddit:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Freshly posted on X:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

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