Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between wanting to be goth and wanting to own a fabulous real estate portfolio…🦇🕸️ Who needs acceptance and friendship when you can have ominous creaks and cobweb-filled corners instead? 😂 #GothGoals"
142 Funny lifestyle quotes
Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.
Commentary:
"Whoever said 'being on a diet isn't so bad if you don't follow it' clearly knows the secret to a guilt-free snack attack 🍪🥗 Pro tip: Just call it 'diet-adjacent' and you're good to go! 😄 #DietingDilemmas"
As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.
Commentary:
Oh, the struggles of retirement – battling the eternal pajama confusion! 🛌🌞 Let's hope you don't accidentally wear your bedtime pajamas to the grocery store or your daytime ones to bed! 😂 #RetirementGoals #PajamaProblems
During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.
Commentary:
"Winter: the season of extremes! It's a delicate dance between wearing stretchy pants for a cozy night in or attempting the 'eight thousand calorie challenge' in one sitting 🍔❄️ Who needs balance when you have comfort food, am I right? 🤷♂️🍕"
Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.
Commentary:
Ah, the glorious decade of soup exploration! 🍲🥣 Whether it's debating the superiority of chunky versus smooth, or embarking on daring culinary experiments, your 20s are indeed a souper time! Just remember, there's more to life than just adding water and stirring! 😉 #SouperTwenties
The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.
Commentary:
Ah, the eternal conflict between seeking peace and courting adventure! 🌊🌙 Living in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory sounds like the perfect mix of tranquility and suspense. Who needs a cozy beach cottage when you can have a haunted mansion by the sea? Ghostly neighbors and mysterious sea monsters included! 👻🏝 #SpookyScenicViews
Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.
Commentary:
"Ah, the most cherished form of intermittent fasting – sleep! 💤 Who knew we were all unintentional experts in fasting? 😂 #IntermittentSleepFasting"
No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.
Commentary:
"Sorry social media influencers, I trust my decisions to be more vine than online 🍷😄 #CheersToThat"
If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.
Commentary:
"Let's cheers to those brave souls taking on Dry January! 🥂 Just remember, a sober socialite is like a unicorn – rarely seen and possibly mythical. 🦄 #DryJanuaryDrama"
Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.
Commentary:
"Ah, the magical age where guacamole becomes a legitimate reason for celebration 🥑🎉 Who needs fancy parties when you've got ripe avocados, am I right? Welcome to the thrilling world of adulting in your 40s!"