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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Going viral on YouTube:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Just landed via Instagram:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Trending via Snapchat:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Making waves on Facebook:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Seen just now on Messenger:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Breaking via Twitch:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Reported on YouTube:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

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