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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Live now on Messenger:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Making waves on Reddit:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Funny long weekend quotes

Funny long weekend quotes are the perfect way to kick off those extra days of freedom with a smile 😄✨ Whether you’re planning to binge-watch, nap endlessly, or embark on spontaneous adventures 🚀🌴, these witty sayings capture all the chill vibes and hilarious truths about long weekends. Get ready to laugh, relate, and share the joy of bonus days off with friends and family! 🎉🕶️ #WeekendMood

New funny long weekend quotes 👇

All funny long weekend quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

57 shares on TikTok this month:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

47 shares on X this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Making waves on Twitch:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just landed via X:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Just shared via Messenger:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

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