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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

1 minute ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Just landed via Reddit:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going viral on Telegram:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Shared recently on X:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Live now on X:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Home » Funny Mastery Quotes

Funny mastery quotes

New funny mastery quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Commentary:
"Life's about winging it like a pro! 🤷‍♂️🌟 Who needs GPS when you've got natural talent in the art of 'fake it till you make it'? 😄 Keep on pretending like you know what you're doing, and maybe one day you'll actually figure it out… or not! 🤣 #ConfidentlyClueless"
6 months ago
Share →: You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Commentary:
When communication skills are so on point, you don't even need words as specific as "thing" and "thing"! 🤣 A true testament to marital telepathy! 🧠💬 #MarriageGoals #TelepathicLove
6 months ago
Share →: The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Commentary:
"Looks like this ninja's special move is the 'Soapy Sock Slide' technique! 👣🚿💥 Who needs a black belt when you can have squeaky clean feet instead? 😂 #ShowerNinja"
6 months ago
Share →: Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of falling with finesse! 💁‍♂️💢 Practice makes perfect, even when it involves falling on your head repeatedly. Who said learning new skills can't be hair-raising? 🙃 #HeadOverHeelsButNotLiterally"

For even more funny mastery quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny mastery quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

1 minute ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Reported on Messenger:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Live now on YouTube:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Trending via Threads:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Making waves on Discord:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Making waves on Threads:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

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