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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

26 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Trending via Twitch:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Reported on Telegram:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Just shared via Slack:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Reported on Facebook:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Just shared via TikTok:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just shared via Telegram:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Home » Funny Muffin Quotes

Funny muffin quotes

New funny muffin quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for crucial life data! 📊🥜🍞 Just imagine having a dedicated stats screen for essential metrics like toastiness levels of English Muffins or the precise ratio of peanut butter to muffin! 🤔📈 If only there was a dashboard that could quantify our culinary adventures in such delicious detail! 🥪🤓 #SnackStatsGoals
4 months ago
Share →: My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's muffin top decided to level up and go all out for the celebration! Who needs a small treat when you can have the whole cake, right? Time to celebrate every inch of that delicious birthday cake body!

For even more funny muffin quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny muffin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

26 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Breaking via Telegram:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Seen just now on Discord:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Just shared via Telegram:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Just landed via Discord:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Just shared via Threads:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

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