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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Making waves on Slack:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Spotted on Telegram:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Just shared via Discord:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Going viral on X:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Funny organ failure quotes

New funny organ failure quotes 👇

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

1 month ago

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All funny organ failure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Just shared via Threads:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Just shared via Reddit:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Going bananas on Threads:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Breaking via X:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny organ failure quotes

New funny organ failure quotes 👇

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

All funny organ failure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨