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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m sick of living through history!

Just shared via Reddit:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Just shared via Threads:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Shared recently on X:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Breaking via Reddit:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Just shared via Twitch:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Funny parlay quotes

New funny parlay quotes 👇

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

2 days ago

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All funny parlay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

54 shares on Facebook this month:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Seen just now on YouTube:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Just shared via Facebook:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Making waves on Threads:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Seen just now on Threads:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

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Funny parlay quotes

New funny parlay quotes 👇

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

All funny parlay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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