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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Spotted on WeChat:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Going viral on WeChat:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Spotted on WeChat:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Funny peeling quotes

Funny peeling quotes peel back the layers of life with humor and wit 🍌😂 Whether it’s about peeling paint, onions, or just those relatable everyday moments, these quips will have you laughing out loud 🤣🧅 Ready to uncover some peel-good vibes? Let’s dive into the zestiest, most pun-tastic sayings that prove sometimes life’s best moments come from a little peeling fun! 🍊🎉

New funny peeling quotes 👇

All funny peeling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

44 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Monday that no one asked for.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Going viral on Discord:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Trending via Telegram:

I am cassette tape years old.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Just landed via TikTok:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Live now on WeChat:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Making waves on Reddit:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

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