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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Trending via Instagram:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Live now on Messenger:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Going viral on Discord:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Trending via WeChat:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

50 shares on Slack this month:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

78 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

45 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

32 shares on Slack this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

25 is the new 0 years old.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Going bananas on Slack:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Going viral on Threads:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

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