Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Trending via X:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Going viral on WeChat:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Just shared via TikTok:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Spotted on Slack:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Spotted on X:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Funny pet ownership quotes

Funny pet ownership quotes 🐾 capture the hilarious chaos and unconditional love that come with having furry friends 🐶😹. From unexpected messes to quirky habits, these witty sayings remind us that pets bring endless joy and laughter into our lives 🦴❤️. Whether you’re a dog lover or a cat enthusiast, get ready to smile and relate to the playful side of being a proud pet parent! 🐕🐈✨

New funny pet ownership quotes 👇

All funny pet ownership quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

70 shares on Threads this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Going viral on Discord:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Going bananas on Slack:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Live now on YouTube:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

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