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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Making waves on Twitch:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Shared recently on Discord:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Breaking via TikTok:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They expect me to work at work.

Trending via Slack:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Trending via Reddit:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Funny psychosis quotes

New funny psychosis quotes 👇

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, colonel, feel, group, group psychosis, humor, language, linguistics, pronunciation, psychosis, word

Someone from 🇵🇦 has recently copied this quote.

49 shares on Instagram this month.
So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

0

4 months ago

anyone, apocalypse, belief, climate, climate disaster, die, disaster, disasters, end, humor, just, know, mass, mass belief, psychosis, religion, religious, satire, survival, thing

Someone from 🇲🇩 has recently bookmarked this quote.

86 shares on X this month.
Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

0

5 months ago

comfort, comfortable, health, humor, little, mental, mental health, psychosis, slipping, something

Someone from 🇭🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny psychosis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on X this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

47 shares on X this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Trending via Slack:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Live now on YouTube:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Spotted on Facebook:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny psychosis quotes

New funny psychosis quotes 👇

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

All funny psychosis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨