Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Just shared via TikTok:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Funny raccoon quotes

Funny raccoon quotes 🦝 bring out the mischievous charm of these clever little bandits! From their sneaky midnight adventures to their adorable masked faces, raccoons inspire laughter and delight. Whether you’re a fan of their curious antics or just love a good giggle, these witty sayings are sure to brighten your day and add some playful vibes 🌟🐾. Get ready to smile and embrace your inner raccoon!

New funny raccoon quotes 👇

All funny raccoon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

23 shares on Discord this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

99 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

62 shares on X this month:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an unread email.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Making waves on Messenger:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Just landed via Reddit:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Spotted on Messenger:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Just landed via WeChat:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Trending via Pinterest:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Making waves on Discord:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

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