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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2095 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,257

Funny Quotes Topics

14,992

Funny Quotes Images

12,257

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Making waves on Snapchat:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Trending via Facebook:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Freshly posted on X:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Spotted on Facebook:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2095 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,257

Funny Quotes Topics

14,992

Funny Quotes Images

12,257

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Making waves on Telegram:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Seen just now on X:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Trending via Slack:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Trending via Threads:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Shared recently on X:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

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