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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

33 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Breaking via TikTok:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Spotted on Discord:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Just landed via Reddit:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Just shared via Slack:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Breaking via Telegram:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Seen just now on Slack:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Going viral on YouTube:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Home » Funny Ransom Quotes

Funny ransom quotes

New funny ransom quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is *already* starting the new year on a criminal note! 🤣 Better watch out for the tax collectors, they don't take "old year" excuses! 📅💸 #NewYearSameMistakes
6 months ago
Share →: Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Commentary:
Well, it looks like even criminals are feeling the heat from the digital age! 📰💻 Imagine the struggle of trying to cut and paste your handwritten demands when everyone is switching to text messages and emails. Looks like ransom notes are going virtual too! #OldSchoolCrimeGoneDigital 🕵️‍♂️💻

For even more funny ransom quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ransom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

33 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Live now on Pinterest:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Live now on Snapchat:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Just landed via Threads:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

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