Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Trending via Telegram:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Just landed via TikTok:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Going viral on WeChat:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Trending via TikTok:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Funny safety concern quotes

New funny safety concern quotes 👇

All funny safety concern quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

72 shares on Slack this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

32 shares on Threads this month:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

77 shares on Discord this month:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

82 shares on Slack this month:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Making waves on X:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Trending via Discord:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Going viral on Facebook:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Just shared via Threads:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Spreading quickly via X:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Breaking via Discord:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

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