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2 months ago
Share →: Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

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🏠💰 "Landlord: I’m raising your rent.
Me: Cool, so is the house getting taller, wider, or just more sarcastic?" 😂🔑

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

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If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

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That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

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I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

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Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

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Going viral on Telegram:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Making waves on YouTube:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Breaking via YouTube:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Making waves on Reddit:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Breaking via X:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

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Funny sarcastic response quotes

New funny sarcastic response quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

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