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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

43 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Trending via X:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Trending via Messenger:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Just landed via Twitch:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Just shared via Slack:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Just shared via YouTube:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Going viral on Instagram:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Home » Funny Scratching Quotes

Funny scratching quotes

New funny scratching quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Commentary:
Government conspiracy: Mosquito bites are nature's secret pleasure button 🤣🦟🍯 #TheMoreYouKnow
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Commentary:
🤔💡 "Asking the real questions here! Who needs a regular old back scratcher when you have a lightsaber, right? 💫✨ Just be sure to keep it on low setting unless you want to accidentally turn your back into a Jedi training ground. May the force of relaxation be with you! 🚀🌟"

For even more funny scratching quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny scratching quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

43 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Just shared via TikTok:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Freshly posted on X:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Broadcasted on X:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Making waves on Discord:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Trending via Pinterest:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

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