Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Trending via TikTok:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Trending via TikTok:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Seen just now on Slack:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Just shared via Facebook:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Trending via Twitch:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Going viral on WeChat:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Funny shopping list quotes

Funny shopping list quotes add a splash of humor to your grocery run 🛒😂. They turn the mundane task of jotting down items into a playful adventure 🎉📝. Whether you’re a list-lover or a last-minute grabber, these witty sayings will make you smile every time you shop 🛍️😄. Ready to spice up your errands with a dose of laughter? Let’s dive into some hilarious shopping list vibes! 🎈✨

New funny shopping list quotes 👇

All funny shopping list quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Trending via X:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Making waves on Snapchat:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Going viral on YouTube:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

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