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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Making waves on Slack:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Just landed via YouTube:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Going viral on YouTube:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Seen just now on Threads:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Just landed via Instagram:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Funny Silicon Valley quotes

Funny Silicon Valley quotes 😂💻 capture the quirky spirit of tech geniuses and startup culture! From endless coffee ☕ to coding marathons 🖥️, these witty lines reveal the hilarious side of innovation and hustle. Whether you’re a techie, entrepreneur, or just love a good laugh 🤣, get ready to dive into the most entertaining and clever moments from the heart of the digital revolution! 🚀✨

New funny Silicon Valley quotes 👇

All funny Silicon Valley quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I only drink when I people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is weird and then you die.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Going bananas on Discord:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Breaking via Telegram:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

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