Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Going viral on Discord:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Just landed via Reddit:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Live now on Facebook:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Trending via Snapchat:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Freshly posted on X:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Going viral on WeChat:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Funny sleep position quotes

Funny sleep position quotes 😂💤 capture the hilarious ways we all crash after a long day! From starfish sprawls to fetal curls, these quirky sayings shine a light on our unique bedtime habits 🌙✨. Whether you’re a blanket hog or a midnight ninja, get ready to laugh and relate because everyone’s sleep style tells a story – and it’s way too funny to ignore! 😴🌟

New funny sleep position quotes 👇

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

0

2 months ago

across, bed, couple, current, diagonal, diagonally, humor, laziness, position, relationship, sleep, sleep position, sleeping, status
I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, arms, confusion, education, even, figure, humor, i, medical, medical school, position, school, sleep, sleep position, teach, where

All funny sleep position quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

71 shares on WeChat this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,370

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Social media is mental suicide.

Shared recently on Threads:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Spreading quickly via X:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Spreading quickly via X:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Just landed via Discord:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Just shared via Messenger:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

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