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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Going viral on Threads:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Seen just now on Discord:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Just shared via Instagram:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Going viral on Messenger:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Funny software update quotes

Funny software update quotes 😂💻 are the perfect way to lighten the mood when your device decides to take forever updating! Whether you’re stuck waiting or just avoiding tech headaches, these witty lines bring a smile 🤣 and keep the frustration at bay. Ready to laugh through the loading bars and progress percentages? Let’s dive into some hilarious gems that make every update feel a little less painful! 🚀✨

New funny software update quotes 👇

All funny software update quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

28 shares on Discord this month:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

84 shares on Discord this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Trending via Telegram:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Just landed via Discord:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Making waves on Slack:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Going viral on Twitch:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Trending via Telegram:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Going viral on Instagram:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Seen just now on X:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

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