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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Trending via Telegram:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Funny sparkling quotes

Funny sparkling quotes ✨💬 are the perfect way to add a little sparkle and laughter to your day! Whether you need a witty pick-me-up or just want to shine bright with humor, these gems will tickle your funny bone and light up your feed 😄🌟. Get ready to sparkle, shine, and giggle nonstop! 😂💫

New funny sparkling quotes 👇

All funny sparkling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

47 shares on Slack this month:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Live now on YouTube:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Live now on Reddit:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Trending via Twitch:

Is this art or trash?

Shared recently on X:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Spotted on Slack:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

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