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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Going viral on TikTok:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Making waves on Instagram:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Going viral on Telegram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Breaking via TikTok:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

34 Funny special quotes

More funny special quotes 👇

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

3 months ago

contemplate, friendship, humor, irony, life, meet, murder, occasionally, people, relationships, someone, special
I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

3 months ago

heart, humor, i, insta, Insta story, keep, media, memory, moment, moments, nostalgia, old, social, social media, special, special moment, still, story
Everyone is awful in their own special way.

3 months ago

awful, everyone, flaws, humor, individuality, own, special, uniqueness
Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

3 months ago

hell, humor, i, irony, know, me, place, self-deprecation, special, special place, throne, wit, yes

For even more funny special quotes, hit next 👇

All funny special quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Just shared via Messenger:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Live now on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

34 Funny special quotes

More funny special quotes 👇

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

All funny special quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨