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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Trending via Facebook:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Just landed via Telegram:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Just landed via Facebook:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Spotted on Facebook:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Funny sports event quotes

Funny sports event quotes bring the laughter and energy of the game to life 🏀😂 Whether you’re cheering from the sidelines or just love a good sports blooper, these witty and hilarious sayings capture the fun, drama, and unexpected moments that make every match unforgettable ⚽️🤣 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as we dive into the funniest lines from the world of sports 🏆😄

New funny sports event quotes 👇

All funny sports event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

91 shares on X this month:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

12 shares on Facebook this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Listen to the birds, not the news.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Making waves on Threads:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Live now on Twitch:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Just shared via TikTok:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Going viral on Slack:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

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