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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Going viral on Slack:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Trending via Snapchat:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Trending via Slack:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Reported on Snapchat:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Just shared via Threads:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Making waves on Messenger:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Spotted on X:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Breaking via Telegram:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Making waves on Threads:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Just landed via Reddit:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

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