Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Going viral on Instagram:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Going viral on X:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Going viral on Slack:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Making waves on Reddit:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Trending via Telegram:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Funny stealth quotes

Funny stealth quotes sneak in humor where you least expect it 🕵️‍♂️😄 Perfect for those who love a little mystery with their laughs, these witty lines blend silence and sneaky antics in the most clever ways 🤫✨ Whether you’re a ninja at heart or just enjoy a good chuckle, get ready to tiptoe into the world of humor that’s quietly hilarious! 😂👣

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All funny stealth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WeChat this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

19 shares on TikTok this month:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Seen just now on X:

What are cats even trying to do?

Live now on Twitch:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Trending via Threads:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Making waves on Slack:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Going viral on Discord:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Just landed via Facebook:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

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