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procrastination

self-deprecation

Funny quotes tangled

Funny tangled quotes

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

3 months ago

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

3 months ago

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My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me. - 68 shares on Snapchat this week.
What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember. - 24 shares on Snapchat this week.
Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on. - 75 shares on TikTok this week.
I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up. - 56 shares on YouTube this week.
You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes. - 53 shares on Instagram this week.

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8,701 funny quotes and pics

11,835 funny quotes topics

Updated: 1 day ago

Trending Funny Quotes 🔥

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it. - 3 folks are currently viewing this quote.
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy. - 11 folks are currently viewing this quote.
If only my teeth were as white as my legs. - 20 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands! - 11 folks are currently viewing this quote.
I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking. - 9 folks are currently viewing this quote.

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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need never parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm self-deprecation sleep social someone technology think time want work

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